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Leave and Cleave, Part 2

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Disease has a way of changing the appearance of things, and the sickness that has infected your marriage is no different. Your spouse, who used to look so good to you, now reminds you of an alien from Mars. Those eyes you used to gaze into now seem too big for their face. They even begin to smell different to you; the sweat that was once the aroma of hard work and purpose now reminds you of the stench from a toxic landfill.

We live in a world that does not take promises seriously anymore. But before you give up on your promises, it’s in your best interest to understand the sickness that is killing your marriage, or you may get to your second or third marriage and realize that you are the one who is sick.

While it is much easier to discuss your spouse’s problems, relationship gurus say we are attracted to our emotional equal; therefore, you bring a set of problems to the relationship that give off the same amount of negative intensity as your spouse does. I know that it is hard to believe that you could be the perpetrator and not just the victim; you’re like too little porcupines, always claiming the other is the one who keeps causing pain. No one wants to admit their needles are sharp as well.

If you desire to save your marriage, the most difficult and painful thing you must address is yourself. You must be willing to take responsibility for the issues you bring to the relationship and how they have harmed your partner and torn down the pillars of trust and affection that were previously the foundation of your once-fulfilling relationship.