Whenever we’re about to begin a relationship, there’s always that initial chemistry that takes over the logic of choosing the right mate. These hormones and the initial attraction are two of the main reasons as to why we find ourselves breaking up more than staying in long-term relationships. Making sure that you learn how to avoid the initial triggers will help you to see more clearly and choose the right person for your needs and your lifestyle.
Losing the Concentration
Building a relationship with someone is similar to using your experience to make decisions in your everyday life. There are a variety of factors that can distract us from making the right choices when choosing a mate ranging from their appearance to the way that they make themselves appear to us. When you allow yourself to lose the concentration that you need to see past the smoke and mirrors, you could be putting yourself in a situation that you just weren’t expecting. It is crucial that you see every person for who they are, rather than who you want them to be.
Outweighing the Negatives with the Positives
At times you may find yourself looking at a potential partner and noticing all of their flaws or unattractive personality traits. You then find yourself saying that you can deal with flaw 1 because they have a great smile, or ignoring flaw 2 and 3 because they can hold a conversation. Over time it’s going to become more difficult to see past the traits that you don’t desire in a partner because you’re going to run out of positives to turn to. With that being said, everyone has flaws, but the moment that you realize that their negative traits outweigh their positive ones, the relationship should end.
Choosing Based on Wants Not Needs
Everyone has an idea of what they want out of a partner, but it is scarce for someone to realize what they need out of a relationship. In fact, most times we confuse our wants with our needs. You may want a tall, dark, and handsome husband, or an intelligent, empathetic, and hardworking wife, but what will you need in your life to feel more fulfilled and to help you become a better person? Will two determined individuals work well in your relationship? Do you need someone with a more dominant personality than yours to keep you on the right track? Make a list of what you will need out of a potential mate to ensure that you are choosing the right one.
