At the core of every narcissist is a lie. Thus, they have no true sense of self, for they have spent their entire lives falling in love with their reflections. This self-absorption makes them incapable of loving others, because the only way you can love others is to first love yourself, and the narcissist has no true self to love—only a poor counterfeit version that they developed in order to survive.
When you are in love with your own reflection, you need constant expressions of approval from those around you in order for your world to feel safe. Therefore, a narcissist will go in search of what some like to call “narc fuel.” The fuel they are looking for is a Godlike adoration and reverence. They desire everyone around them to conform to their idolized self-narrative, which allows the narcissist to control everyone and everything in their environment to avoid getting hurt.
Narcissists often feel trapped in the unresolved conflicts of their childhood. Therefore, they seek resolution by recreating conflicts of the past with their present significant other. Their current partner feels to them like a reasonable substitute for the parent or original perpetrator who created the injury. Sadly, this cycle is how injuries are passed from one generation to the next—another set of children must silently endure the madness that comes with living in a narcissist’s household, which is why it is important to understand that before narcissists become perpetrators, they were once in the same situation they are now creating. Years ago, they were the children living in fear and desperately seeking the love and approval of their parents in order to form a stable and healthy foundation of self-worth. Such a foundation is paramount to creating healthy relationships in the future.
May God give you the strength to search out and destroy the lie, so that the truth can set you free.
